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Monday, April 13, 2015

Apocalypic Vodka


I have two standard jibes that I use with my Mormon friends who have taken in this former altar-boy Catholic.

The first is an exaggeration beyond belief.

I say: “In my tribe (Catholic) all you have to do to be forgiven is to feel guilty, light a candle, burn some incense, and throw holy water—i.e. water after you’ve boiled the hell out it—at your loved ones—the latter preferably at room temperature.”

I take my relationship with God seriously.

Catholics are acutely aware of sin. I do not take my relationship with my Heavenly Father lightly.

I am, however, 100% OK being sinful if it protects my daughter from harm in a post-collapse society.

Should that happen, all bets are off. I am OK doing a sojourn in Purgatory if I protect my daughter.

The second jibe I have is that in an aftermath, I will manage the sin bartering.

This is not an exaggeration.

Though I have not done it, I am considering buying cigarettes and lots of alcohol as bartering items.

A collapse of society is all about win/lose and I plan to win.

If I can give an alcoholic some vodka in exchange for something I need to protect my daughter, I am comfortable doing so. I have no moral issue doing that.

Ditto cigarettes.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, but if I can trade you smokes for something that protects my daughter, you can have the cancer sticks.

Protection is a no-expenses-spared mandate...even if the expense is sinning in the pursuit of protection.

I will do that gamble.

In real life, I would never give an alcoholic more alcohol, but in a societal collapse, said person is a bump in the road that I will drive over if it means safety for my daughter.

Alcohol is an opiate—some say religion is, but I disagree—and in a destabilized world, alcohol will be gold.

I got it.

You need it.

What do I get for it.

My Mormon friends can’t “do” alcohol and may even pause over manipulating an alcoholic for gain.

I have no problem being opportunistic to protect my daughter. Literally, there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect her.

I believe God will forgive me for running roughshod over others in the protection of my daughter in a societal collapse.

I trust that God sees the greater picture.

I am also OK being the lapsed-Catholic bad boy in a post-collapse world and my Mormon friends know it.

I bring something to the table.

And yes, in my tribe all you have to do to be forgiven is to feel guilty, light a candle, burn some incense, and throw holy water—i.e. water after you’ve boiled the hell out it—at your loved ones—the latter preferably at room temperature.

Dripping with sarcasm much?


Nah!

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