In
times of crisis, people are fond of saying “Remember, you’re not alone.”
But
psychologically you are.
Even
if you are chatting with a therapist, you are alone.
Because—psychologically—only
you can survive a crisis.
That is if you choose
to.
In
fact, some people have a more difficult time weathering crisis because they
rely on those people who are “there for them”.
They
do not realize that they’ve just added enmeshment and codependence into the mix.
They
externalize their solution (external locus of control) and in so doing they
exponentially increase their likelihood of not surviving the crisis.
You
are alone. Accept it.
The
opposite strategy is to adopt an inner solution (internal locus of control).
Literally,
telling yourself “I can cope” has as
much restorative power that the “I can’t
cope” has for destruction.
It’s
simple—but not always pretty—to choose
to cope because doing so summons strength.
Similarly,
telling yourself “I have strength” has as much restorative power that the “I don’t
have strength” has for destruction.
Telling
yourself that you have strength does not make the path easier, but it
forestalls further tumbling into the abyss.
Many
people pretend to be overwhelmed because they are hesitant to take charge of
their lives.
They
need a safe space where no one judges.
If
that has ever gone through you head,
you’re in deep caca.
Obliterate
that thought ASAP.
All
change in behavior is incremental for its impact on attitude, affect, and
wellness.
A
person can stop drinking alcohol abruptly, but the change away from being
alcohol-dependent takes a long time for the brain rewiring to happen.
And,
so, it is with a crisis.
Action
can be taken decisively, but the positive impact on attitude, affect, and
wellness will take time.
The
cliché “time heals” is a truth if the time is used wisely with an unswerving
desire to get better.
Ironically,
some prefer the pity from others if they are victims rather than survivors.
And
it’s not that you shouldn’t seek professional help, but rather that you have to
choose for that professional help to do you good.
One
of the false lenses people use in a crisis is to panic about not knowing what
will come next.
Yet,
they live every day not knowing what will come next.
You
go to do a load of laundry and the washing machine dies.
You’re
at work and get a call that your kid is sick at school.
In
normal life, we assess the situation and act accordingly.
In
a crisis, some of us panic and flail when assessing the situation and acting
accordingly will work ten times out of ten.
What
it all comes down to is shoving emotions out of the way and embracing cold,
hard logic and intellect.
Being
highly emotional is a weakness not a strength.
By
reducing your emotional responses and dramatically increasing your
logical/intellectual responses, you will be happier in your life and better
able to weather a crisis.
Prepare
well, my friends.
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